Curse you Twilight

The curse that is Twilight has been put upon my relationship.

Kim's workmate Hannah has got her hooked on the Twilight series of books, like Amy Winehouse to crack. Granted crack is rather moreish.

The high school love affair Kim has with Edward, swooning over his intense protectiveness and mysterious allure lead her to ask me, "how come bella gets protectiveness, mysterious allure etc and all I get is you breaking wind!"

Is that all I do?

I then pointed out, I do some pretty superhuman things myself, like do the two-week food shop all by myself, carrying it all home from New Cross Gate.

Well apparently I have to up the ante, increase my mysterious allure, make myself undead, obtain superhuman strength and be as quick as lightning.

Any ideas?

Nope, didnt think you have.

Curse you Twilight, Curse you Edward